WRITING: ‘Lonely’

Sometimes I am lonely. Everyone is now and then, I suppose.
I used to think there was only one kind of lonely – the crippling sense of abandonment and loss, echoing around my skull.

But I have learned that there are different kinds of loneliness.

There is the one I knew so well, of course there is. But more importantly, there are new kinds of lonely I don’t recall ever experiencing.

Suddenly the term takes new shapes according to my day. My loneliness can be contented, melancholic, delirious, confused, nostalgic or cantankerous.

It is wonderful to have an array of emotions contained in one word. Awareness is key to comfort, and alone isn’t so lonely when you can be comfortable with yourself.

That’s not to say I don’t experience the sense of a missing piece, and yearn for a reassuring hug.

But it means that when I am lonely, it’s not the be-all and end-all.

I can see my days stretching out endlessly in front of me, leading me to the horizon line in never-ending hopscotch tiles.

I recognise that my emotions are fleeting, and it is a joy to be capable of experiencing them all in such vivid colours, knowing that they are not enhanced or manufactured, but they are reality. That there is no filter over my heart to edit the emotion I register.

Amazing, how one state of mind can trigger such revelations in one tiny person standing atop a tiny, pea-sized planet at the edge of a dairy-themed galaxy.

Amazing how I can feel so small, so insignificant, and yet so infinitely powerful.

Sometimes I am lonely. But I don’t mind.

After all, you need the blanket of night to truly appreciate the stars.


This piece was written in July 2013, and is an original work of my own. If you have any thoughts on this piece, feel free to comment below. For any other enquiries, please email me at contact@luxelis.com.